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"I have heard rumors that the release versions of Valve’s ports for Mac will include some subtle but important changes to make sure users of Apple computers don’t keel over from fatal levels of unfamiliarity."

"In Half-Life 2, instead of picking ammo off the filthy ground like a common Windows user, you must go to an immaculate white Ammo Store where twentysomethings with fauxhawks will sell you immaculate white bullets, provided you haven’t been murdered by an immaculate white Manhack."